There once was a fellow named Dion

There once was a fellow named Dion
Who wore a suit decked out in neon.
          Of scarlet and white
          That he wore every night
To show he was nobody’s peon.

A gay football player named Weavas known as a

A gay football player named Weavar
Played the game in an athletic fever.
          He started in South Bend
          As a rookie tight end
And retired as a pro wide receiver.
 

There once was a woman nmed Gardener;

There once was a woman nmed Gardener;
A young amateur penis hardenner.
          She went without knowing
          That she causedg such growing
So rather than blame her, let’s pardon her..

There once was a woman named Kara

There once was a woman named Kara
Whose face and hair could not be faira.
          With breasts so well sized
          That other women despised
But made men just stand there and stara.

There once was a woman named Faith

There once was a woman named Faith

Who’s skin was a white as a wraith.

          She never went out

          When the sun was about

And used only bleach in her baith.

There once was a woman named Cher

There once was a woman named Cher

Who never trimmed her public hair.

          So under her frocks

          She was sporting dreadlocks,

Which kept men from going down there.

There once was a fellow named Holloway

There once was a fellow named Holloway

Who thought of women in a shallow way.

          Be she sweetheart or shrew,

          She’s just something to screw

With a personal goal or a gal-a-day.

There once was a woman from Licking

There once was a woman from Licking

Whose boyfriend said she’d get a licking

          If he ever found out

          She was out and about,

And, it wasn’t just him she was licking.

There once was a fellow named Ray

There once was a fellow named Ray

Who liked to watch girls walk away.

          He liked breasts just fine

          But the view from behind

Reminded him why he wasn’t gay.

I love education TV.

I love education TV.

On my new favorite, TLC,

          A woman unfurled

          The largest breasts in the world

At size 102 triple Z.

There once was a fellow named Ben

There once was a fellow named Ben

Who has to pass gas now and then.

          But since he can’t smell,

          He never can tell

The distress he causes his fellow men.

There once was a young girl named Hayden

There once was a young girl named Hayden

Whose Mother kept her in a playpen.

          Since the girl’s seventeen,

          That seems somewhat mean

But Mom wants to keep her a maiden.

Lose-A-Letter Limerick - Alice

 There once was a young girl named Alice

Who was sent home from grade school with lice.

          They cut all her hair

          To find no bugs there,

Because her classmates told a lie.

There once was a woman from Spain

There once was a woman from Spain

Who walked on the plain in the rain.

          No umbrella.  No clothes.

          It’s her chance to expose

Her ass in the public domain.

9/11 demonstrated

9/11 demonstrated

Americans were underrated.

          But bravery of those

          Who chose to oppose

Fear and terror cannot be debated.

 

In memoriam to the passengers and crew of Flight 93.