Before Pam left for the Junior High dance,

Before Pam left for the Junior High dance,
Her Mom said, “Keep that boy out of your pants.”
She replied, “I told Kenny
That I’m not wearing any,
So he knows he does not have a chance.”

Everybody thought Chef Tony was mental,

Everybody thought Chef Tony was mental,
Or his “Free Dinner” ads were accidental.
Because he offered this deal;
A free 7-course meal
With a small $50 per plate rental.

There once was a woman named Nina

There once was a woman named Nina
Who kept all her money betweena
Her two ample thighs
Which, to no one’s surprise,
Made buying a candy bar obscena.

For years, that glamour doll, Barbie,

For years, that glamour doll, Barbie,
Has been dressed for a trip to the Derby.
But the ecomony’s bad,
She’d be better clad
For working the drive-thru at Arby.

They can’t shut down that nude restaurant, “Rubes”

They can’t shut down that nude restaurant, “Rubes”
Where the waitresses show off their boobs.
Rube found a loophole.
He can serve Denver Sole,
If the girls wear hairnets on their pubes.

Ventriquist Annabelle King

Ventriquist Annabelle King
Can make her ____ whistle and sing,
But her favorite trick
Is a voice gruff and thick
Saying “Watch where you’re pointing that thing."

Jan’s success in the realtor vocation

Jan’s success in the realtor vocation
Was largely due to her fornication.
She uses her tail
To cement every sale.
It’s location, location. location.