There once was a fellow named Cullen

There once was a fellow named Cullen;
Perpetually moody and sullen.
His wife won’t approve
Of his favorite move
So his marital rights, she’s annullin’.

There once was a fellow named Lee

There once was a fellow named Lee
With a tongue as long as one can be.
It’s all over town
That when he goes down,
He can tickle either ovary.

There once was a fellow named Ben

There once was a fellow named Ben
Who last week ran nude through the glen.
Ben is so well hung
So gals old and young
Lined upIn case he runs again.

Sue sat in the food court alone

Sue sat in the food court alone
Slowly eating a B and R cone.
She looked so darn sad
It made me feel bad
So I went and got one of my own.

There once was a fellow named Joyce

There once was a fellow named Joyce
Who made a fine literary choice,
To craft a poem, you see,
About the wonders of a tree
Giving nature an eternal voice.

Trees by Joyce Kilmer

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

For more trees, go to http://www.treestrash.blogspot.com/

Happy Earth Day!

There once was a terrorist named Bernie

There once was a terrorist named Bernie
With a demeanor very taciturney.
He tied a M-80
To he torso (quite weighty)
To rid the radio waves of Journey,

There once was a young girl named Jenna

There once was a young girl named Jenna
Whose hair was the color of henna,.
Until a new shade of red
Was seen on her head,
Followed by black, blonde, chartreuse and magenna.

Happy birthday, Jenna!

There once was a fellow named Larry

There once was a fellow named Larry
With a burdensome secret to carry –
A recent surgery
“Add-a-____-to-me”.
Yes, his first name used to be Mary.

There once was a fellow named Rudy

There once was a fellow named Rudy
Whose girlfriend was truly a beauty.
But she kept herself chaste
Not even embraced,
Which left our friend Rudy quite moody.

There once was a fellow named Charlie

There once was a fellow named Charlie
Who, at 7, could ride his own Harley.
At 10 he screwed daily
His best girlfriend Haillie,
A Campbell Soup VP for barley.

There once was a fellow named James

There once was a fellow named James
Who can’t recall his girlfriends’ names.
Except for Mary Claire
Who shaved her pubic hair,
And replaced it with hot tattooed flames.

There once was a gal named Regina;

There once was a gal named Regina;
A Britisher living in China.
She's a limerickster’’s dream.
A subject supreme,
‘Cause her name rhymes with South Carolina.