There was a woman named Lois Mae

There was a woman named Lois Mae
Who sadly is not with us today.
Wife, nurse and mother
Above any other,
To Heaven, she’ll show us the way,

Rest in Peace, Lois MacArthur, beloved Mother.

There once was a co-ed named Megan

There once was a co-ed named Megan
Who, on Thursday night, went out a keggin’.
She woke Sunday morn,
Naked as she was born
Except for one inside-out leggin’.

A fellow from central Indiana

A fellow from central Indiana
Had a ____ that looked like a banana.
Sadly it curved down,
Was mushy and brown,
Since he spent that weekend in Havana.

There once was a fellow named Chuck

There once was a fellow named Chuck
Who was having a bad run of luck.
Losing his job and his girl
Had his balls in a whirl
And all he could say about it was, “Bleep” because he worked at the FCC.

There once was a woman from Long Island

There once was a woman from Long Island
Who didn’t like living on dry land.
She hung out at the docks
Offering to suck _____
For passage to Norway or Thailand.

There once was a woman named Ruth

There once was a woman named Ruth
Who worked at the fair’s kissing booth.
It’s 1 dollar per kiss
From this comely miss,
And for 20, she’ll take out her tooth.

There once was a woman from Maryland

There once was a woman from Maryland
Who would not have sex with a hairy man.
His chest, back and ass
Must be smooth as glass
And even down there by his merry gland.