A woman named Valerie Butts

A woman named Valerie Butts
Said that her name just drove her nuts.
The teasing to thwart
Brought her into court,
Where she changed it to Natalie Butts.

There once was a woman named Taylor

There once was a woman named Taylor
Who drove abound town in a trailer
Painted red, white a blue,
Where nightly she would screw
Any soldier, any marine, any sailor.

There once was a fellow named Paul

There once was a fellow named Paul
Who wrote upon the restroom wall.
About girls who put out
Although without a doubt.
He had no direct proof of it all.

My father once told me, “Beware,

My father once told me, “Beware,
Don’t marry a girl with red hair.
Her libidinous desire
Is like a wild fire,
That to quench, you won’t have a prayer.”

There once was a woman named Stacy

There once was a woman named Stacy
Who posed for photos somewhat racy;
Chained to a stripper pole
With a man in each hole
In a camisole, girlish and lacy.

There once was a woman named Marletta

There once was a woman named Marletta
One night, and you’ll never forget her.
She looks prim and proper
But if you pull out the stopper,
She’ll rock you all night, if you let her.

There was a hairstylist named Pearl

There was a hairstylist named Pearl
Who wove her _____ in one large curl.
But it ruined romance
When she slipped off her pants
It looked like she was hiding a squirrel.

On St. Patrick’s Day, poor Mary Kaylie

On St. Patrick’s Day, poor Mary Kaylie
Drank 14 or so too many Bailey’s
On the 18th she rose
Without any clothes
And in her _____ was a sheilleigh.

There once was a fellow named Roger

There once was a fellow named Roger
Who thought he was a Brooklyn Dodger.
He showed up every day
Dressed and ready to play
Where the field used to be, poor old codger.

There once was a fellow named Ty

There once was a fellow named Ty
Who said, “I know some day I will die,
But I hope it’s in bed
While I’m getting head,
A super way to say, ‘Good-bye.’”

While making his Act of Contrition

While making his Act of Contrition
Young Timmy made a vital omission.
He didn’t confess
(Self-conscious, I guess)
His numerous nocturnal emissions.