There once was a woman named Allison

There once was a woman named Allison
Who spent every free moment phallusin’
‘Til her doc tor said, “No!
Those vibrators must go,
Since your _____ is sufferint from callousin’”

There once was a fellow named Kent

There once was a fellow named Kent
Who lived by the road in a tent.
He ate squirrell entrails
And traded the tails
To a gas station for toilet rent.

There once was a fellow named Greg

There once was a fellow named Greg
Who had a tattoo on his leg,
Depicting ‘round a pond
All the men who played Bond,
From Sean Connery to Daniel Craig.

There once was a young men named Geoff

There once was a young men named Geoff
Who worked as an exotic choeff.
He made fricasseed air;
Thoughts, medium rare;
And blackened filet of treble cloeff.