There once was a fellow named Ben

There once was a fellow named Ben

Who has to pass gas now and then.

          But since he can’t smell,

          He never can tell

The distress he causes his fellow men.

There once was a young girl named Hayden

There once was a young girl named Hayden

Whose Mother kept her in a playpen.

          Since the girl’s seventeen,

          That seems somewhat mean

But Mom wants to keep her a maiden.

Lose-A-Letter Limerick - Alice

 There once was a young girl named Alice

Who was sent home from grade school with lice.

          They cut all her hair

          To find no bugs there,

Because her classmates told a lie.

There once was a woman from Spain

There once was a woman from Spain

Who walked on the plain in the rain.

          No umbrella.  No clothes.

          It’s her chance to expose

Her ass in the public domain.

9/11 demonstrated

9/11 demonstrated

Americans were underrated.

          But bravery of those

          Who chose to oppose

Fear and terror cannot be debated.

 

In memoriam to the passengers and crew of Flight 93.

Lose-A-Letter Limerick - George

 There once was a fellow named George

Who lived in a shack by a gorge

          He lived off the grid

          Like his ancestors did

Which made him a pal of Al Gore 

There once was a farm boy named Snyder

There once was a farm boy named Snyder

Who worked for his Aunt pressing cider.

          Until one day, the fool,

          Smashed his personal tool,

Daydreaming about being insider her.

I beg you! Bring back the Road Runner!

I beg you!  Bring back the Road Runner!

There is no cartoon that is funner!

          With old Wile I. Coyote.

          (Was he high on peyote?)

Make it an eternal rerunner!

There once was a fellow named Stryker

There once was a fellow named Stryker

Who slept with the wife of a biker.

          He was caught at the scene

          And never again seen,

‘Cept his balls, which were found by a hiker.

There once was a girl on the bayou

There once was a girl on the bayou

Who liked nothing more than to screw.

          She kept a vibrator

          Shaped just like a ‘gator,

Just in case there was no one to do.