Although he was never alive

Although he was never alive,
The author of Blaze seemed to thrive.
The fans like his things
That were rougher than King's--
His Bachman's sterner overt jive.

When I finished reading The Dark Tower

When I finished reading The Dark Tower
King's epic left me somewhat sour.
When I got to the end
The tale went 'round the bend...
When I started reading The Dark Tower...

I recommend Stephen King's Cell

I recommend Stephen King's Cell,
A tale of the world gone to hell.
Who thought a Blackberry
Could be so damn scary?
Me? I'm going back to Ma Bell.

The Stand -- a gift from my wife --

The Stand -- a gift from my wife --
Was King's tome of apocalyptical strife.
I read it with rapture,
Every day 20 chapters.
It was the most wonderful year of my life.

I didn't find Stephen King's Carrie

I didn't find Stephen King's Carrie
To really be all that much scary.
I remember my prom
It was quite a bomb,
Although not quite so pyrotechnary.

An elderly fellow in Cleveland

An elderly fellow in Cleveland
Wears a button-down shirt with some sleeve bands.
When he tied his brown tie
He thought he would die.
His hands throbbed like you would not believe, man.

A forgetful young man in Chicago

A forgetful young man in Chicago
Was on the stage playing Iago.
But he was not aware
That waist down he was bare
Which the audience saw as bravado.

Mongomery and Jennifer Boone

Montgomery and Jennifer Boone
Sent their children to camp every June.
And with the kids gone,
They screw on the lawn
Every night by the light of the moon.

Word bot around the sororities quick

Word got around the sororities quick
About the new frat boy with the 13-inch ____.
But each girl got distressed
When they got him undressed
And found it one-quarter inch thick.

At the Senior Prom, Evelyn Beecher

At the Senior Prom, Evelyn Beecher
Got caught screwing under the bleacher.
She was giving her ___
To a boy from Math class.
Unfortunately, she was the teacher.

After delivering 9 children, Mary

After delivering 9 children, Mary
Was told this by her husband, Larry,
"You may not be virginal
"In your canal vaginal,
'"But, I'm betting your ___ is a cherry."

This girl I know in New Orleans

This girl I know in New Orleans
Looks pretty good in those jeans.
She says, "S'aint no doubt,
"I look better without"em."
I think you know just what she means.

Go NFL - Week 5

There is a young girl in New England

There is a young girl in New England
Who meets guys in the bars with her girlfriend.
But no man gets a claim
With a foreign last name.
For these girls are patriots to the end.

NFL week 5

Sprprotu Queen Sandy Loring

Sorority Queen Sandy Loring
About frats gave her sisters this warning,
"They'll get you too drunk,
"Throw you up on their bunk,
"And _____ you all night until morning.

Dr. Harrison, the plastic surgeon

Dr. Harrison, the plastic surgeon,
For his wife was losing his urgin’
With a surgical shunt
He shored up her ____
And made her a technical virgin.