A jungle explorer named Haver

A jungle explorer named Haver
Found an area that just made him quaver.
The world’s densest bush
Stretched from navel to tush;
To screw her, he would have to shave her.

Jenny sat on the seashore and moped.

Jenny sat on the seashore and moped.
Her vacation had not gone as hoped.
The weather was great;
The hotel was first-rate.
But at the airport she had not been groped.

Michigan / Ohio State

Of all the women down at Ohio State
There are none that I would make a bed mate.
The ones that I know
Don’t take care down below,
And let their panties just disintegrate.

All of the women at Michigan
Have too many itches in their britches, man.
To get their pants off
Makes me want to cough
And just makes me hungry for fish again.

There was a young man from Wilkes Barre

There was a young man from Wilkes Barre
On a date in this father’s new carre.
He reached for her tit
But she told him, “Quit!
On a first date, I don’t go that farre.”

There once was a woman named Tommie

There once was a woman named Tommie
Who learned the Chinese art of origami.
She made a vibrator
Out of sandpaper
And died of the resulting tsunami.

There once was a woman named Hailey

There once was a woman named Hailey
Who used her vibrator twice daily.
Some might suggest
Ths she was obsessed.
But, she didn’t want it to go staley.

Blog Action Day 2010 - Water -- Could you tell your son or your daughter,

Could you tell your son or your daughter,
“Remember, Kids, don’t drink the water”?
But that order stands
Across many lands.
Do something about it? We aughter.

Today is Blog Action Day 2010 – Water. Thousands of bloggers from around the globe are taking to the internet today to address the many threats to our world-wide water supply. Please visit my other blog, Trees and Trash ( www.treestrash.blogspot.com ) and the main site for Blog Action Day 2010 ( www.blogactionday.org ). Do something today to save some water.

There once was a young man named Kevin

There once was a young man named Kevin
Who wondered if there was sex in heaven.
Then a voice from above,
Said, “Of course, we make love,
If fact, you’ve got a date at eleven.”

There once was a gal named Colleen,

There once was a gal named Colleen,
Mistress of le danseuse obscene.
She like to be tied
With dildoes inside
While bound to a washing machine.

When Annie Smallbox met Bobby Hardwick

When Annie Smallbox met Bobby Hardwick
They both thought it would be an ideal pick.
But Annie was large
Like a two-car garage;
And Bobby was more like an ice pick.

There once was a girl from Wisconsin

There once was a girl from Wisconsin
Who went by the first name of Johnson.
She clained it’s not tough,
But her boyfriend, Muff,
Said it is a bit weird in the long run.

There once was a woman named Gloria

There once was a woman named Gloria
Who lived at the Walford Astoria.
Not as a paid lodger,
But with some old codger
Where she goes down like the Andrea Doria.

There once was a fellow named Garrison

There once was a fellow named Garrison
Whose Mother called him her hairy son.
With a face to be heard,
His passion for the word
Made NPR’s best show “that Prairie one”.

There once was a fellow from Durham

There once was a fellow from Durham
Whose girlfriend knew just how to stir him
To bring her the heights
Of sexual delights.
If he starts to slow down, she spurs him.

Rex Ryan, a coach most profound,

Rex Ryan, a coach most profound,
Apparently cannot make a soung
Without saying “____!”
Using it with pluck
As an adjective, adverb and noun.