Montgomery moved to Belize

Montgomery moved to Belize
To spend all his time in the trees.
He left a life mild
To be naked and wild,
And let his _____ swing ‘tween his knees.

Librarian Marian Farrien

Librarian Marian Farrien
Is a libertarian vegetarian.
Celery and carrots
And zucchini merits
A buryin’ in her spot ovarian.

As a baby, she was named “Dejuanna”,

As a baby, she was named “Dejuanna”,
A rememberance of her dear “Nana”.
But who would have guessed
It would become a request
For liquor, sex or marihuana.

The once was a young boy named Kelly

The once was a young boy named Kelly
Who wanted to read news on the telly.
He was ugly as sin
And his voice was too thin.
He plays blues for spare change in the elly.

Kelly Greene, bass guitar, The Greene Brothers

There once was a young boy named Hunter

There once was a young boy named Hunter
Who yearned to be a NFL punter.
But his leg was not strong
And his aim was all wrong.
He became a troubadour, an enchunter.

Hunter Greene, guitar, keyboards, harmonica, The Greene Brothers

There once was a young boy named Forrest

There once was a young boy named Forrest
Who wanted to become a florist.
But his strong allergies
To both pollen and bees
Changed his goal to rock and roll guitorist.

Forrest Greene, guitar, The Greene Brothers

There once was a fellow named Harry

There once was a fellow named Harry
With a burden he hardly could carry.
A high-school sports star
Reduced to selling cars,
And so self-centered it almost was scary.

There once was a fellow named Frank

There once was a fellow named Frank
Who closely resembled a tank.
His ass was immense;
For pants he wore tents
Which still barely covered his flank.

That tiger blood fueled Charlie Sheen,

That tiger blood fueled Charlie Sheen,

Is a winning entertainment machine
Whose roadshow of rage

Got booed off the stage.

Before the big redemption scene.

I know that I have been a sinner.

I know that I have been a sinner.

I know that I could stand to be thinner.

        I know I’m a louse,

        But Publishers’ Clearing House

Says that I may already be a winner.

A woman named Valerie Butts

A woman named Valerie Butts
Said that her name just drove her nuts.
The teasing to thwart
Brought her into court,
Where she changed it to Natalie Butts.

There once was a woman named Taylor

There once was a woman named Taylor
Who drove abound town in a trailer
Painted red, white a blue,
Where nightly she would screw
Any soldier, any marine, any sailor.

There once was a fellow named Paul

There once was a fellow named Paul
Who wrote upon the restroom wall.
About girls who put out
Although without a doubt.
He had no direct proof of it all.

My father once told me, “Beware,

My father once told me, “Beware,
Don’t marry a girl with red hair.
Her libidinous desire
Is like a wild fire,
That to quench, you won’t have a prayer.”

There once was a woman named Stacy

There once was a woman named Stacy
Who posed for photos somewhat racy;
Chained to a stripper pole
With a man in each hole
In a camisole, girlish and lacy.