On the seashore, a sweet Georgia peach

On the seashore, a sweet Georgia peach
Was arrested for public indec. . .
“I was dressed up just fine
Until I saw your sign
That said, ‘No thongs on the beach.’”

Professional porn actress Daisy

Professional porn actress Daisy
Gave this speech at Career Day, “See,
I give him a ____.
He gives me a ____.
Then he pulls his ____ out and he sprays me.”

Star Trek was my favorite show

Star Trek was my favorite show.
I would watch it wherever I’d go.
Then I heard George Takei
Was actually gay,
I’m sorry, it’s just too low a blow.

As she walked on the nude beach, our Marge

As she walked on the nude beach, our Marge
Met a man who thought he was in charge.
She said, “Hold it, Mister.
First I must get a picture,
So that I can have it enlarged.”

A charming young bachelor from Dallas

A charming young bachelor from Dallas
Was confronted by gun-toting Alice.
“I’ve checked out my trap
And you’ve gave me the clap,
So from now on you’re going to be ball-less.”

A guy I know in Arizona
Will mever have sex with a moana.
You can scream, you can shout,
You can throw things about,
But, don't break the cardinal rule. No balogna!

The crazy little women of Kansas City

The crazy little women of Kansas City
Are chief among gals who are pretty.
I’m gonna go there
And get me one quite fair.
If I don’t, it’ll be such a pity.

There once was a girl named Marie

There once was a girl named Marie
Who shampooed her hair with her pee.
"I want curly hair
Like the ones that grow there,
But, the smell makes cats follow me."

There was a young fellow named Bart

There was a young fellow named Bart
Who mastered the bombastic fart.
It's said that one blast
Knocks a man on his ass.
Says Bart, "It's a finely honed art."

Annabeth Margaret Fieson

Annabeth Margaret Fieson
Looked forward to Baseball season.
“I love all the players,
All but one are good layers.
He’s called the shortstop for a reason.

Consider contortionist Wendy

Consider contortionist Wendy
Who was considerably agile and bendy
Her favorite bit
Is to lick her own ____
And stick a toe in her rear endy.

Consider the poor narcoleptic

Consider the poor narcoleptic
Whose condition is quite contraceptic.
In the middle of screwin'
The poor guy would swoon
Which left his young wife apoplectic.

A fellow who grew up in Pittsfurgh

A fellow who grew up in Pittsburgh
Now lives with the Grand Duchess of Hapsburg.
He said, “It’s an art.
To steal ‘er cold heart.
It’s like making love to an iceburg.

An East Coaster who moved to Seattle

An East Coaster who moved to Seattle
Said, “My diet is a constant battle.
“Every day is see hawkers
Of hot dogs and tac-ers
I’m afraid that I’ll soon start to waddle.”

NFL Week Nine

There once was a woman named Kat

There once was a woman named Kat
Who wore a most interesting hat
She wove it from hair
That she clipped from down there.
Now what the hell do you think of that?