There's a story of my good friend Liz

There’s a story of my good friend Liz
Who don’t know where anything is.
She puts in her mouth
Things that belong in the south
Ignoring the place where she ___.

My old friend Bill loves Buffalo

My old friend Bill loves Buffalo
Where it often gets 20 below.
He keeps his hands warm enough
In his wife’s fur-lined muff.
Though, her ___ does get cold, don’t you know?

A libidinous woman from Houston

A libidinous woman from Houston
Said, “I’m gonna tell you the truth, son.
You can’t beat the sexin’
You get from a Texan,
Even though they all leave them ol’ boots on.”

Football: Proof that God loves us.

On the seashore, a sweet Georgia peach

On the seashore, a sweet Georgia peach
Was arrested for public indec. . .
“I was dressed up just fine
Until I saw your sign
That said, ‘No thongs on the beach.’”

Professional porn actress Daisy

Professional porn actress Daisy
Gave this speech at Career Day, “See,
I give him a ____.
He gives me a ____.
Then he pulls his ____ out and he sprays me.”

Star Trek was my favorite show

Star Trek was my favorite show.
I would watch it wherever I’d go.
Then I heard George Takei
Was actually gay,
I’m sorry, it’s just too low a blow.

As she walked on the nude beach, our Marge

As she walked on the nude beach, our Marge
Met a man who thought he was in charge.
She said, “Hold it, Mister.
First I must get a picture,
So that I can have it enlarged.”

A charming young bachelor from Dallas

A charming young bachelor from Dallas
Was confronted by gun-toting Alice.
“I’ve checked out my trap
And you’ve gave me the clap,
So from now on you’re going to be ball-less.”

A guy I know in Arizona
Will mever have sex with a moana.
You can scream, you can shout,
You can throw things about,
But, don't break the cardinal rule. No balogna!

The crazy little women of Kansas City

The crazy little women of Kansas City
Are chief among gals who are pretty.
I’m gonna go there
And get me one quite fair.
If I don’t, it’ll be such a pity.

There once was a girl named Marie

There once was a girl named Marie
Who shampooed her hair with her pee.
"I want curly hair
Like the ones that grow there,
But, the smell makes cats follow me."

There was a young fellow named Bart

There was a young fellow named Bart
Who mastered the bombastic fart.
It's said that one blast
Knocks a man on his ass.
Says Bart, "It's a finely honed art."

Annabeth Margaret Fieson

Annabeth Margaret Fieson
Looked forward to Baseball season.
“I love all the players,
All but one are good layers.
He’s called the shortstop for a reason.

Consider contortionist Wendy

Consider contortionist Wendy
Who was considerably agile and bendy
Her favorite bit
Is to lick her own ____
And stick a toe in her rear endy.

Consider the poor narcoleptic

Consider the poor narcoleptic
Whose condition is quite contraceptic.
In the middle of screwin'
The poor guy would swoon
Which left his young wife apoplectic.