Thursday, March 11, 2010

His girlfriend once asked Billy Corgan

His girlfriend once asked Billy Corgan*,
Which was his favorite organ.
He felt the Hammond B-3
Had the best nusicality,
But she meant hers of her sister, Morgan’s

*Leader of the Smashing Pumpkins**

**A great rock band of the Nineties

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

There once was a woman named Holly

There once was a woman named Holly
Who looked just like Salavadore Dali
Had designed her clothes,
From her hat to her hose,
About which her friends could only say, “Golly!”

Monday, March 8, 2010

There once was a fellow named Brewer

There once was a fellow named Brewer
Who maintains a Beverly Hills sewer.
He’s found folks will pay
For what celebs flush away.
He’s a waste-matter entrepreneur.

Friday, March 5, 2010

There once was a woman named Olga,

There once was a woman named Olga,
Whose talk was exceeding vulga.
“____ my ass,” she might say,
“Lick my _____ all day.”
Which is odd since she’s a non-indulga.

Monday, March 1, 2010

There once was a gal named Celesta

There once was a gal named Celesta
Who went to the club with a Winchester.
She went inside armed
Not to prevent being harmed
But to help find someone to molest her.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

When faced with a ‘quake or tsunami

When faced with a ‘quake or tsunami
I would just curl up and cry, “Mommy”.
Thank God the Red Cross,
The Anti-Disaster Boss,
Rushes in without getting all qualmy.

Support disaster relief at www.redcross.org

Saturday, February 27, 2010

There once was a woman from Boston

There once was a woman from Boston
With a _____ a man could get lost in.
She could handle me,
My step-brother, Lee,
With a Red Sox baseball bat also tossed in.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I’m looking for something eye-opening

I’m looking for something eye-opening
Something to fufill my hopening.
Some kind of food
To get her in the mood
And provide for me a thigh opening.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

There once was a woman named Kelly

There once was a woman named Kelly
Who referred to her expanding belly,
Saying, “When on a lark,
Don’t screw in the dark,
Where you can’t tell if he’s rubbered his felly.”

Sunday, February 21, 2010

There once was a fellow named Freddy

There once was a fellow named Freddy
Whose ____ was always at the ready.
He doesn’t go out
When a storm is about
“Cause a strong wind makes him unsteady.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

There once was a woman named Katie

There once was a woman named Katie
Who pondered life choices quite weighty.
‘When I get older
Will by sex life be bolder
So I canstill ____ when I’m eighty.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

By the week after Valentine’s Day

By the week after Valentine’s Day
The flowers have been thrown away
The candy’s been rifled
For truffles and trifles
And she’ll not soon wear that lingerie.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

There once was a gal named Melissa

There once was a gal named Melissa
Who was cursed with a most foul emissia.
Her farts, it is said
Could awaken the dead
Or wipe out an entire militia.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Today’s highlight is the NFL Super Bowl

Today’s highlight is the NFL Super Bowl
And my Lions are deep in a bottomless hole.
But my next favorite team
Is the one in New Orleans,
So, “Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez”*

*”let the good times roll.”