Friday, July 31, 2009

Lorraine started acting bizarrely;

Lorraine started acting bizarrely;
Got tattooed and purchased a Harley.
Her rumbling bike
Is most foreplay-like
Which doesn’t bother her husband Charlie.

Friday, July 24, 2009

My buddy knew he’d get up to bat

My buddy knew he’d get up to bat
When his blind date said, during their chat;
“Later, if you’re not busy
Can you help trim my _____;”
Not knowing that she owned a cat.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

After work, old Montgomery Munche

After work, old Montgomery Munche
Was surprised by his wife’s sucker punch.
She yelled, “Something’s amiss.
I can tell from your kiss. . .
Unless you had sushi for lunch.”

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

An Oregon fellow named Hoover

An Oregon fellow named Hoover
Patented a sexual maneuver.
He can, it is said,
Make a girl lose her head
And her shrieks can be heard in Vancouver.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

There once was a fellow named Ross

There once was a fellow named Ross
Whose throat was cut, right straight across.
Seems that’s what they do
For attempting to screw
The wife of a Mafia boss.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

I’ve heard in Tijuana, Mexico

I’ve heard in Tijuana, Mexico
They’ve closed down the old donkey show.
Those six shows a day
Was just too much, they say
For the donkey. Not Pamela Jo.

Friday, July 10, 2009

When the girls get together to chatter

When the girls get together to chatter
They often discuss how size does matter.
All other things equal,
They offer a sequel
To the man whose billfold is fatter.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

There once was a woman named Joan

There once was a woman named Joan
Whose husband brought prostitutes home.
Each got 50 bucks
To give him a ____,
And Joan got to be left alone.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

I found when I first got my glasses;

I found when I first got my glasses;
I was being ignored by the lasses.
But, now when I say, “Hi,”
And they walk on by,
I get a better view of their asses.