Sunday, December 26, 2010

I asked my Dad, “Why do they say

I asked my Dad, “Why do they say
That 12/26 is Boxing Day?”
He took me to the mall
To experience the brawl
Of the return / exchange counter fray.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry _______ Christmas!

The Center is closed today, so please enjoy some items from the past.
Be back for Boxing Day.

There once was a reindeer named Dasher
Who consulted a New York haberdasher.
He said, ‘Make me fashionable,
Not normal or rational.
‘Cause I see myself much more panacher.”

There once was a reindeer named Dancer
Who vacationed near the Tropic of Cancer.
She lounged be the pool
Looking sexy and cool
Searching for a buck to romance her.

There once was a reindeer named Prancer
Who wanted to be a break-dander.
The antlers made it rough
So he had them cut off,
Hoping a bald head would be the answer.

There once was a reindeer named Vixen
Whose beauty was very transfixin’
She turned up her nose
At all of her beaux
Whom she led on just to eighty-six ‘em.

There once was a reindeer named Comet
Who asked, “Where’s the island of Guam at?
My stomach’s upset
So I need to get
A balm made of Guam palm to calm it.”

There once was a reindeer named Cupid
Who did something incredibly stupid,
She drank too much grog,
Mulled wine and egg nog,
And got a DUI near Guadelupe

There once was a reindeer named Donder
Who in a past life was a condor.
That might explain why
He soars through the sky,
But the laying of eggs is a wonder.

There once was a reindeer named Blitzen
Who loves New Orleans where she sits in
With a Dixieland band
Playing piano four-hand
While tour groups watch her, kibitzin’

There once was a reindeer named Rudolph
Who is an expert at black-and-blue golf.
In spite of its name
This reindeer game
Is really not quite all that rough.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A jungle explorer named Haver

A jungle explorer named Haver
Found an area that just made him quaver.
The world’s densest bush
Stretched from navel to tush;
To screw her, he would have to shave her.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Jenny sat on the seashore and moped.

Jenny sat on the seashore and moped.
Her vacation had not gone as hoped.
The weather was great;
The hotel was first-rate.
But at the airport she had not been groped.