Friday, February 17, 2012

There once was a fellow named Scott

There once was a fellow named Scott
Who had a prescription for pot.
‘Til the doc said, “Eshew it.
“I cannot renew it.
We’ve found a cure for what you’ve got.”

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

By the week after Valentine’s Day

By the week after Valentine’s Day
The flowers have been thrown away
The candy’s been rifled
For truffles and trifles
And she’ll not again wear that lingerie.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

As we celebrate Valentine’s Day

As we celebrate Valentine’s Day
I feel it’s important to say,
A VD present
Should be something pleasant.
Don’t give an STD away.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Since tomorrow is Valentines Day,

Since tomorrow is Valentines Day,
A word from the men shopping today,
“The flowers and candy,
The jeselry and brandy,
We buy to find someone to lay.”

Friday, February 10, 2012

There once was a woman named Jenny

There once was a woman named Jenny
Who, as for boobs, didn’t have any.
But she gets “Best in Class”
For her beautiful ass
And for lips that can suck Abe off a penny.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

There once was a fellow named Song

There once was a fellow named Song
Who everyday wore a sarong
Until he got fired
For not being attired
Enough to hide his lengthy ____.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Marvin, a veteran nurse,

Marvin, a veteran nurse,
Was asked which of his tasks was worse.
“Bed making’s a strain,
The lifting gives back pain,
But ___ wiping was one of the worse..”

Monday, February 6, 2012

There once was a fellow named Joe

There once was a fellow named Joe
Who off to the doctor did go.
After exhaustive tests,
Doc said, “Make your bequests
You should have died 10 years ago.”

Sunday, February 5, 2012

There once was a QB named Manning

There once was a QB named Manning
With talent generationally spanning
He’s got roguist charm
And a deadly right arm;
Gving opponents and Afghanistanning.

There once was a QB named Brady,

There once was a QB named Brady,
A cool-as-ice cat, not a ‘fraidy.
As he surveyed the field,
He made his foes yield,
He’s like his own one-man brigadey.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

There once was a woman named Whitney

There once was a woman named Whitney
Who did not like having her mipples bitney.
She did not really mind
A spank on her behind,
But she loved lots of licks on her ____ney.

Friday, February 3, 2012

There once was a woman named Chelsea

There once was a woman named Chelsea
Who said, “If you’re planning on finging my bellsea,
Your tongue must be long,
Your ____ must be strong,
And please shower so you don’t smellsea.