Saturday, September 29, 2012

There once was a gal named Suzanne

There once was a gal named Suzanne
Who wanted to become a man.
         After her boobs were set free,
         And an Add-a-____-to-me
She was set with a grand-new floor plan.

Friday, September 28, 2012

There once was a woman named Suzie

There once was a woman named Suzie
Whose voice was so husky and bluesey
         That when she started to talk
         Men forgot how to walk
And stagger about dazed and boozey.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

There once was a woman named Pattie

There once was a woman named Pattie
Whose neighbors thought must be quite batty.
         She used a garden shear
         To cut off her hair
Whenever she thought it was too ratty.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

There once was a woman named Rose

There once was a woman named Rose
Who buys her panties by the gross. 
      She leaves them behind her
      As a subtle reminder
Of who passed on that STD dose.

Monday, September 24, 2012

There once was a fellow named Neil

There once was a fellow named Neil
Who asked his girl, “How does it feel
      To have my manly pride
      So far deep inside?”
She laughed at him, saying, “Get real!.”

Saturday, September 22, 2012

There once was a fellow named Davy

There once was a fellow named Davy
Who spent his whole life in the Navy.
Like in the Joel song,
A bar’s where he belongs
‘Cause he walks like the floor is all wavy.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

There once was a woman name Monica

There once was a woman name Monica
Who learned how to play the harmonica.
         The tongue is the key
         To her virtuosity.
Just ask her girlfriend, Veronica.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

There once was a girl named Nicole

There once was a girl named Nicole
Who was born without spirit or soul.
         So she doesn’t mind
         Getting ______ from behind.
In fact, she likes men in each hole.
 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

There once was a woman named Jeri

There once was a woman named Jeri
Who dumped her computer date, Larry.
         She had to reject him
         For fing’ring her rectum.
‘Cause she wants to keep her ___ cherry.
 

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

There once was a young girl named Pat

There once was a young girl named Pat
Who was teased by her classmates as “flat”.
         ‘Til a boy from wood shop
         Told them all to stop,
Because he told them he liked her like that.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

9/11 demonstrated

9/11 demonstrated
Americans were underrated.
      But bravery of those
      Who chose to oppose
Fear and terror cannot be debated. 

In memoriam to the passengers and crew of Flight 93.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

OMG! Football is back!

OMG!  Football is back!
Our Sundays are no longer black!
      So, the zebras are new.
      What’s the worst they can do?
Just please protect my quarterback.* 

*Matthew Stafford – Detroit Lions

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

There once was a fellow named Mark

There once was a fellow named Mark
Who only made love in the dark.
         He's tattooed, you see,
         From his neck to his knee
With a tribute to that Star Trek guy, Quark.