Monday, May 30, 2011

The waitresses down at the Ideal

The waitresses down at the Ideal
Are so gorgeous it makes your mind reel.
Each and every one
Will smile and say “Hon”,
While presenting each wondrous meal.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Today is the last show for Oprah

Today is the last show for Oprah.
How will her millions of fans coprah?
Well, there is O W N,
But, don’t worry my friend,
I hear that she’s running for Poprah.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Melinda, a Colonial lass

Melinda, a Colonial lass
Was a barmaid in olde Boston, Mass.
Slinging whiskey and beer
And swinging her rear
To show that he possessed lots of . . . class.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Annette, an administrative assistant

Annette, an administrative assistant
Told her boss, “I must be insistent.
No more ‘working’ late.
The orgasms are great,
But, I’m afraid they’re not at all consistent.”

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Bye to Randy Savage, the “Macho Man”;

Bye to Randy Savage, the “Macho Man”;
The ultimate wrestling showman.
His clothes made me wonder,
But his voice was like thunder,
And his body was built just like Conan.*

Rest in Peace, Randy “Macho Man” Savage.

*The barbarian, not the comedian.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

There once was a woman named Mary

There once was a woman named Mary
Who thought Friday, the 13th was too scary.
So she crawled back in bed
With pillows over ther head
Where she died of acute aphyxiliary.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Osama Bin Laden is dead.

Osama Bin Laden is dead.
Killed by a shot to the head.
Are we closer to peace,
Or closure, at least?
I'm shooting for hope over dread.

God bless America!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

There once was a fellow named Sizemore

There once was a fellow named Sizemore
Whose small ____ was a bit of an eyesore.
If he had more size,
He might get more sighs,
And get to pry open those thighs more.