There once was a reindeer named Dasher
Who consulted a New York haberdasher.
He said, ‘Make me fashionable,
Not normal or rational.
‘Cause I see myself much more panacher.”
There once was a reindeer named Dancer
Who vacationed near the Tropic of Cancer.
She lounged by the pool
Looking sexy and cool
Searching for a buck to romance her.
There once was a reindeer named Prancer
Who wanted to be a break-dander.
The antlers made it rough
So he had them cut off,
Hoping a bald head would be the answer.
There once was a reindeer named Vixen
Whose beauty was very transfixin’
She turned up her nose
At all of her beaux
Whom she led on just to eighty-six ‘em.
There once was a reindeer named Comet
Who asked, “Where’s the island of Guam at?
My stomach’s upset
So I need to get
A balm made of Guam palm to calm it.”
There once was a reindeer named Cupid
Who did something incredibly stupid,
She drank too much grog,
Mulled wine and egg nog,
And got a DUI near Guadelupe
There once was a reindeer named Donder
Who in a past life was a condor.
That might explain why
He soars through the sky,
But the laying of eggs is a wonder.
There once was a reindeer named Blitzen
Who loves New Orleans where she sits in
With a Dixieland band
Playing piano four-hand
While tour groups watch her, kibitzin’
There once was a reindeer named Rudolph
Who is an expert at black-and-blue golf.
In spite of its name,
This reindeer game
Is tame. It’s not quite that rough.
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